What You Learn About Yourself

I taught my first yoga class at Willow Street Yoga Center today.  Not the first yoga class I've taught, but the first at Willow Street, my studio home, where I completed teacher training.  I had prepared, and prepared, for this class, and it was good.  

My process of preparing, both mentally and emotionally, was essentially the same process I use when preparing for a musical performance.  Lots of preparation, planning, practice, and in the end, letting go to something that is not as much in my control as I might like.  

Leading up, I'm always thinking I could be better prepared.  When the time comes, I realize the preparation has served me well, but know that things will unfold in some unexpected way - I'll forget some thing I had worked on diligently so that I wouldn't forget it.  Afterwards, there's this deep sense of transition and release, as I realize that there is no more preparation to do, that my energy can be directed elsewhere, and, at this moment, I have no idea where.  

Having completed this debut, in front of a couple of senior teachers, I'm now working from a new plateau.  I've learned something more about my process - what I have to do to feel prepared to teach - and I can focus my attention and energy a little more for the next time.  

I think this awareness of how I learn - how much is enough - how much is too much - is one of the most valuable things I've gained from years of studying and preparing for speaking, making presentations, performing music, and teaching yoga.