Another Trip Around the Sun

The earth takes a year to orbit the sun.  We could mark that journey at any time.  Many in the past used the winter solstice - the transition from days growing shorter to days beginning to lengthen - as their marker.  For some reason we now do it about 10 days later, an arbitrary but well entrenched date to mark the passage of another year.  I'd support going back to the solstice - I like that it's a date that is connected directly to the physical universe that you can measure reliably if you carefully arrange some large rocks.

The past week and a half have been busy with travel, by both auto and air, visiting with family of all generations, lots of food and gifts.  I especially enjoyed playing with the six grandchildren and how well the cousins get along.  It seems well worth the effort that the parents are making to stay connected and foster another generation of family relationships, even though the families are far apart.

I didn't write any Mindful Day posts during this time.  I have lots of notes that are fodder for future posts, but while there was a lot to absorb, I didn't feel the degree of conclusiveness about ideas and experiences that I need to write a post.  I decided it was better to just let things simmer.

While in Oklahoma I had some nice views of Orion and the surrounding sky - the constellation Gemini,  planet Jupiter, stars Sirius and Aldebaran, and the Hyades and Pleiades star clusters.  I've seen them enough now to have them well patterned in my brain.  I had one last look at them last night near the end of a long drive from western Illinois to the D.C. suburbs as the highway turned up South Mountain.

The sky in the plains, with views from one horizon to the other, is extraordinarily beautiful - whether filled with clouds and light during the day, or with stars at night.  I remember mother remarking about that.  She appreciated mountains, forests and lakes, but saw the sky of the plains as equally scenic and full of beauty.

A lot of good things happened this year.  I expanded my horizons in several directions - cooking and wine explorations, yoga teacher training, beginning to learn the stars and constellations, journaling about remembered dreams, reading Joseph Campbell on mythology, and learning how to be more productive and content.

I expect the coming year will bring continued progress in all of those things, as well as some new surprises.  Keeping up with the growing family will be challenging, and fun too.   Each day will bring a new opportunity to be mindful and live the life that is here and now - the only one I get.  All in all, it's a rich and wonderful life.

Next Step for the "Done List"

I have kept a daily list of things I completed or made a significant advancement on for almost a month.  I'm going to do some review and analysis of that data to see what I can learn.

I'm interested to see what categories of work have received the most attention.  It will be revealing if, in a month, I don't have accomplishments on some of the high priority topics.  That could happen if, on a daily basis, the "urgent" regularly pushes aside the "important."

I will learn if my productivity is reasonably consistent from day to day, or if there are patterns - such as I get more things done toward the end of the week - or there's a day of the week that is a common low point.

I've started to think about how I could code important items as I complete them so I can more quickly review the daily lists.  I want to ensure that the projects that take multiple steps are carried forward so they can be completed without ending up on the back burner for too long -- again, the urgent versus important issue.

The underlying power of this is how the process is helping me be more deliberate about how I work, focusing on accomplishment rather than activity, and giving me more control over my time and the resulting outcomes.  In jargon, being proactive rather than reactive.  I feel much better working this way.

A Busy Evening

Tonight is our big push to prepare for our holiday trip.  We leave early Friday morning, and getting well on the way to packed and prepared tonight will allow us to go to the last yoga class of the term - a class that we both enjoy.

The focus of a clear goal and a limited amount of time really makes a difference in what I do.  Things I could have done days ago, I'm doing tonight.  If I could create that focus on a more regular basis I would keep up with things better.  

It's a clear night after several overcast days, so I also had stargazing on my list for tonight.  The moon is full and bright, but even so, it is so clear that Jupiter, Sirius and the bright stars of Orion practically leap from the sky, and many more points of light are visible throughout the sky and especially in the clusters of the Pleiades and Hyades.  Stunning.  The Pleiades in particular are such a jewel in the sky - I'd rather see them than look at a diamond.  Perhaps I'll have some more good star viewing on the trip.  

I think I'm done for the evening.  Things are pretty well organized without too much stress, and a good night's sleep would be a really good idea.

Breaking Out of the Ruts

One objective of practice - yoga and meditation - is to increase my awareness of the ruts I'm in - the habitual patterns, attitudes and responses that I have - and to increase my ability to break free of them by choosing other paths.

In the past couple of weeks, I have felt this message - to get out of the ruts, to try new things - coming from all directions -- yoga teachers, things I've read, at home and at work.  I suspect that the message has always been there.  The difference is in me, the receiver.  For some reason I have tuned into this particular theme, and now I see it everywhere I look.

It is having a big impact on my life at work.  As I've become more disciplined, focused, and productive with the ongoing work, it has freed up time and energy to reach out and pursue some new and interesting things.  After working in the fisheries field for over 25 years, I know a lot of people, and have a lot of opportunity to reach out, communicate, and make connections that others might not see.

I enjoy doing that.  Today I explored, with one of our international fisheries experts, possibilities for collaborating with some non-governmental groups that work on improving fisheries management and protections throughout the world.  I also met with a leader in the recreational fishery sector to discuss ideas to improve recreational fishery management, which is both complicated and important as there are millions of marine recreational anglers.

Because the group I lead works on a very broad range of fishery issues, we're in a better position to make connections that a more specialized group would be.  This opportunity has always been there - what has changed is my ability to make this activity into a central focus of my work.

Nothing on the outside has really changed.  What changed is that I was able to break out of some deep ruts, make space for creative energy, and begin to act on the opportunities all around.  The outlook is for a very exciting year in 2014.

Why Do I Keep Forgetting This Lesson?

Today was a day full of getting things done.  I've written about this before.  I've learned the lesson many times - I will feel better if I get in action mode and get things done, instead of settling into feeling that there's too much to do.

I'm continuing to write a list each day at work of the things I do, and I've figured out a way that works for me to efficiently keep track of things that need some action so I can get them on the "done" list.   I'm thinking about putting that daily "done" list online so that the people who work in my division can see it, as an example of focusing on accomplishment, and being transparent and accountable.

There's a deeper lesson here as well - the lesson that my emotional state is a product of how I choose to perceive and respond to the world, and isn't dictated by the events themselves.  Sometimes those choices don't appear to be choices - they are unconscious reactions to things based on past conditioning.

When I feel that I have no choice - that's when I need to step back and think about what is really going on - and why I am reacting the way I am.  Sometimes that will create enough space that I can make a different choice.  Other times I'm just stuck there - for the time being.  There will be another chance to try again, because it seems that life particularly enjoys leading you back to those sticky places.

Making a List, Checking it Twice

Holiday planning is ramping up.  Family members are starting to travel.  I have 4 days of work this week before we head out early Friday morning for an all day drive to Rock Island, Illinois, and it will be almost 2 weeks before we get home.

It's time for me to make a list of all the things that need to be done before leaving and all the things that need to be taken.  Usually when I travel I can just throw things together at the last minute, but there's too much complexity this time.

After Christmas in Rock Island, I'm flying to Oklahoma to meet my family for a second gathering.  I need to take a suit with me for grandson Colin's baptism.  If that doesn't get on my list, I may be doing last minute emergency suit shopping at a mall somewhere.  Don't want that.

After a few days in Oklahoma, I'll fly back to Illinois to drive back home with Pam.  If I'm not focused and organized, there are lots of places for things to go off the rails.  So off I go to make the list, and check it at least twice.

It's the Most ____ Time of the Year

Fill in the blank.  Hectic, crazy, stressful, meaningful, insane, important, depressing.... even wonderful...

I usually get to this time of year and feel that something overwhelming is happening.  This year I'm seeing more of the component parts.  It's a long list.

Less daylight, colder temperatures, Thankgiving holiday followed immediately by the realization that Christmas and New Years are just a few weeks away, gift shopping to do, performance reviews had to be completed, and new plans written and signed, health care changes have to be done before the end of the year, financial considerations for tax purposed can't be postponed, there's only one more week of work before leaving for holiday visits with family, the furnace needs to be replaced, the intermittent squeal in the car checked out...

Come to think of it, maybe it's better to just have one big overwhelming feeling.

Why is it, that just at the time of year that nature has put everything to sleep,  that we pile these layers of activities, responsibilities and commitments on ourselves?  Wouldn't we be happier taking a month or two to relax, sit by the fire, and perhaps have one grand celebration to mark the season?  Instead, we're so busy that we can barely fit it all in, and we miss the chance to settle into a deeper, meaningful experience.

Something to think about for next year.

Simple doesn't mean Easy

Pam and I have some make up classes to take at the yoga studio, and time is running short for the term, so this evening we went to a Yoga I class taught by Suzie Hurley, former owner of the studio and one of our favorite teachers.

We 'graduated' from Yoga I some time ago and have taken a number of progressively more advanced classes, including some from Suzie.  So it was natural to expect a relatively easy time at the class.  Instead, I was reminded that, in yoga, there is always an edge to find and to work at.

The class tonight focused on basic standing poses, such as triangle, extended side angle, and warrior II, as well as twists.  While the poses were ones that are more accessible to less experienced students, I could still work as hard as I wanted to and find challenges in them.

My experience in this class, ostensibly for beginning students, was nearly as hard as the more 'advanced' classes.  Simple doesn't mean easy.  The quality of the experience depends on how I approach it, how much I am willing to put in.

Fundamentals are worth returning to and focusing on.  I should take Yoga I more often.

How I Spent my Sunday

It started snowing lightly this morning while we were at a yoga class.  We came home and settled in for the day.  Snow continued, accumulating an inch or two, before turning to freezing rain.  But we didn't have to go out in it, and could simply watch the world outside gradually turning white.

Something about a day like today encourages sitting back and relaxing, drinking some hot tea, and reading a book.

That's what I felt like doing.  But that isn't what I did, except for the tea.

I spent much of the day on two activities that kept me sitting in front of the computer - online Christmas shopping, and editing video from the last Composers' Society concert to put on YouTube.

The latter is particularly difficult because it requires periods of time, from a few minutes to a half hour, when the computer is working, and then needs attention again.  This is disruptive to the flow of the day, and I found myself feeling much less settled than I wanted.

In the end, I accomplished quite a bit today - I just didn't enjoy the experience.   Perhaps what I need is a day that I enjoy while not accomplishing anything except to enjoy the day.

A Balancing Act

I went to a new yoga class this morning.  One of the teachers at Willow Street Yoga, who teaches a two hour advanced class on Saturday mornings, is leaving after this term.  I hadn't been to her class before, and didn't want to miss the opportunity to experience it.

The class was challenging - the pace and approach different enough to require extra energy and concentration.  It was a test for my right hand, to see how it would respond to more demands - the most I've attempted since hurting it two weeks ago.

Yoga presents opportunities to find balance.  There is the balance of the body in gravity, which is a factor in every standing pose, and especially in arm balances or standing on one leg.

There is the balance of strength and flexibility - contracting a muscle in order to stretch it safely. There is the balance of effort and ease, which is monitored through awareness of the breath.  When I work too hard, it shows up in strained, labored breath.

And there is the mental balance needed to engage in discomfort, putting the body and mind under stress so it will adapt and strengthen, but not so much stress as to cause injury.

Along with the asana, or physical postures, this class incorporated more breathing and meditation practices than are typical in my other classes.  The techniques were familiar to me, but the extent they were incorporated was different.

I'm happy that I took the class.  My hand held up well, giving me more confidence to continue to ease back into more challenging weight bearing poses.

I thought it might be a different experience - and it was - giving me a new path to consider as continue to explore the world of yoga.  I learned several new variations to work on - some more opportunities to find balance in practice and in life.

Rain, and Rest

It is late Friday evening after a busy week, and I'm sitting here listening to the sounds of rain outside - gentle, not driving - stirred by a light wind that ebbs and flows.

The sounds are calming.   The thought of the cold dampness outside makes me feel more warm and snug inside.  I think I'll go lay down and listen to the rain until I fall asleep.

Dreamy

Lately I've been writing down what I can remember of my dreams.  I've done this from time to time over the years, but it has been quite a while.  My purpose is to see what kinds of things are rattling around in my dream consciousness.

The current theme seems to be various things that I'm looking for, or expecting, that somehow manage to vanish before I can grasp them.

I remember some time back that I had frequent dreams that I could float, or fly, whenever I wanted to.  That dream seems to have flown away for the time being.

Another thing I've noticed is how events or themes from the day before become woven into the dreams.  For instance, yesterday there was news about the Detroit bankruptcy, a court decision allowing pensions to be modified, and reaction from the union.  Last night, in one of my dreams, I belonged to a union.

One of my accomplishments at work yesterday was to research and write a briefing paper on short notice.  In my dream, I wrote a paper and was a little anxious about how it would be received.

Several of my recent dreams have had settings reminiscent of Juneau, Alaska and surrounds.  Another dream last night featured an unmanned boat - perhaps inspired by recent news about aircraft drones.

I do miss being able to fly.  Perhaps I'll get that dream back sometime soon.

Family Ties and Traditions

It's funny, at least for me, to experience aging and moving from child to adult to parent to grandparent and then, gradually realizing that I really am middle aged and a grandparent and that "old person" that I saw in my grandparents when I first knew them.

As I posted a few days ago, my branch of Trombles, as far as I know, can be reliably traced back only to the latter 1800s, or perhaps 120-140 years, to my great great grandfather.  But now I'm a grandfather, and I realized that the 6, going on 7 children in the newest generation are, from that starting point, generation seven.

Seven generations.  So there should be a growing list of family stories and some worthwhile values and traditions to pass along.  I need to do my part, and write down some of the things I remember about the farm in Lincoln County and my grandparents - generation three.  That's a subject for another time.

Up through generation three, the Trombles were farmers, and I've always had an affinity for farms and farm animals.

I'm also at a point in life that I have most of the things that I need (and a lot that I really don't need), and I've experienced the chore of sorting through a household of stuff and swearing that I wouldn't leave a task like that for my children.

So I thought that it would be nice to start a tradition of giving a gift that would do some good in the world, and making it a project that the wider family could participate in.  We could collect money from those who wanted to participate, and use it to donate one or more animals through a group like Heifer International.  The generation seven kids could be involved in picking the type(s) of animals to donate, and I think that could be fun for them.

Another connection is that Heifer International - which used to be called The Heifer Project - is a charity that my father, "Grandpa Gene" (generation four), has donated to for many years and thought highly of.

So, I'll throw this out to the family and see what they think.

Reaching Out

Perhaps by nature I'm more of a defensive player than an offensive one - a counter puncher rather than an opener.  I say this because I am comfortable much of the time reacting to what comes my way, and it takes more effort for me to be more proactive.

One of the skills that I have that is valuable at work is the ability to engage and communicate with a wide variety of people, from fishermen to policy makers to scientists, on a wide variety of topics.  Whenever it comes my way, I enjoy it, and find it helpful both to me and to the other people.  But I've realized that there are many more opportunities out there, if I would take more initiative to reach out and make contact with people.

I've resolved to direct more energy into proactive contact with key people in the fisheries community by making at least one call a week to a person who would be interested and helpful in advancing sustainable fisheries.

Today I made the first call, which provided me with some ideas and information that I can immediately put to use and gave me a list of several more people who I didn't know, but who likely could be good partners.

When I was young I was very shy, and would seldom initiate contact and was very uncomfortable asking people for things - whether for money for a charity, or for help on a project.  As an adult, I've grown increasingly confident and more able to initiate conversation and enjoy meeting people, but I think there's still a bias toward introversion in my personality.

I'm looking forward to a lot of interesting conversations and new opportunities to invigorate my work as I invest the energy to reach out.

One Thing At a Time

The nature of my mind is to jump from one thing to another.   The same busy mind, what some refer to as "monkey mind" (continually jumping and leaping from one thing to another), that conjures up distracting thoughts during meditation, continues to work throughout the day.

It would seem to be the easiest of things, to have one thing in mind, and to hold it there until the task was complete.  In fact, that seems to be the hardest and most unnatural of things.

Just before writing this post, I had set out from the bedroom to the living room to check tomorrow's weather on the computer to prepare appropriately for my early morning departure to yoga.  By the time I reached the computer and sat down, my mind had remembered another thing to do, and I found myself doing that and wondering - "Why did I come in here?  Oh yes, the weather."

Many people think they can "multitask," but I have read, and am convinced, that is not the case.  The conscious mind can work on one thing at a time.  What we can do, is hold a number of partially done tasks in suspension and pull them out to work on briefly before setting them back and working on another.

The ability to keep track of multiple tasks is certainly valuable, as there often externalities that cause delay - such as waiting for a response from another person that is necessary before moving on, or waiting for a part that has been ordered.   But, at least in my case, the juggling of multiple unfinished tasks is often inefficient churning exacerbated by the monkey mind.

The same discipline used in meditation, of observing the thoughts without engaging them, is needed to keep attention on the task at hand.  If a thought seems important I may take an instant to jot it down, but not let the core of my focus divert to it.

This is not easy for me.  It is far easier to chase the leaping monkey around.  But the payoff, when I can sustain it, is that I feel less fragmented and less stress. Because I stay focused until the task is complete, I have a much greater sense of accomplishment.

Over the Edge, and Back

On Monday, a week ago, I felt a sharp pain in the thumb pad of my right hand when I pressed on the hand.  I was just starting my morning hand flexibility routine.  Sometimes a random pain will quickly go away, but this didn't.  Gently testing to see how localized the sensation was, I found that pressure on any part of the palm would cause the pain, so I modified my routine to give it a complete rest.

I can't pinpoint anything I had done in the previous day or two that would cause the pain.  It may have just been an accumulation of stress from my practice.  Whatever the cause, I had pushed too far over the edge.

Tuesday night the hand felt fine, but after doing a hand stand - which felt fine - it flared up again.  Oops, over the edge again.  Since then, I have avoided any major strain on it.  The past few days I have eased back in with some push ups and a yoga class.  The pain has not recurred, so I think I'm back on safe ground now.

The question for me is how to gradually move back toward my practice, including hand stands and back bends.  The difficulty is that I don't know where the edge is.  I don't know whether my hand will hurt until it does.  I wish the body came with a good warning system -- "Caution, if you do another hand stand, you will injure your hand," -- but it doesn't.

Over the years, I have been an off and on runner.  I enjoyed running, but eventually an arch, or an Achilles tendon, or a shin, or a knee or a hamstring would begin to hurt, and I would have to quit for a few weeks or months.  The longest recovery was from a bout of plantar fasciitis.  That took over 4 months.  The last couple of times I was intentionally being cautious about building mileage too fast, and was running 3 to 4 times a week instead of every day.  Eventually though, something gave way.  So I never figured out how to sense an injury coming and back off before it happened.

I hope that I'll have better results dealing with my hand. All I know to do is to be slow and cautious in rebuilding my practice, and to lay off at the first hint of the pain recurring.  When I was running, I would often push on even with discomfort, thinking that it would work itself out.  Sometimes, it did, but too many times it resulted in an injury that made me stop running for a while.

My intention now is to try to avoid an injury by not pushing to the edge.  But that can be difficult, as there isn't a clear sign marking where the edge is.  In the event that I go too far after all, I need to be aware, and prepared to back off at the first sign of trouble.