The Nature of Us

This week there have been two violent incidents involving students and teachers that trouble me deeply. In one, a 12 year old brought a handgun to a Nevada school and shot two students and then killed a teacher who tried to intervene. In the other, a 14 year old is alleged to have beaten and killed a 24 year old teacher at a Massachusetts high school.

I know there's a tremendous amount of violence every day. I think these incidents especially trouble me because the perpetrators are children, and the violence happened in schools. As I walk to work every day and see parents saying goodbye to their kids as they board the school bus, it is sobering to think that the schools they are going to could be the site of deadly violence.

Our society is too casual about, too accepting, and often too glorifying of violence. We reap what we sow. If we want our society, our schools and workplaces to be safe and free from violence, it is going to take concerted efforts by millions of people and conscious decisions to renounce violence and teach our children other ways to deal with their emotions and resolve conflicts.

I have to start with myself. I recognize that as much as I deplore these violent acts, there is a violent part of my nature. I suspect that every one of us, if we knew our ancestors lives, would find an appalling amount of violence - indeed, all of us are likely here because of violence perpetrated in the past. After all, we are the progeny of survivors, and if they killed in order to survive we inherited the genes that give the capacity, perhaps even the propensity, for that violence.

If violence is a part of my nature, there will be times when, in order to avoid violence, I have to intervene with myself and choose a different path. I need tools in order to be able to do that. I need the ability to recognize my instinctive reactions, my fear, my rage, and I need the ability to step back from that and choose not to act it out violently. This is extraordinarily hard. I believe that my meditation and yoga practice will help me, but I do not expect, if the time ever comes, that it will be anything but a struggle that will take me to the edge.

I wonder if our society can summon the will to fundamentally change its relationship with violence, and teach our children how to choose a better, life respecting, path. Is there any doubt that we desperately need to do that?