I've been pursuing a couple of different things. One is being tuned in to my perception of conflict and my habit of avoiding it. Somehow, a long time ago, I learned to invent conflict - to imagine what other people were thinking and how they would react - and then to imagine how I would deal with the situation. Using up energy avoiding imaginary crises - but creating real stress for myself in the process.
The other is the idea of creating space between things - finishing one thing before turning to another - or, if not finishing, at least setting it aside for the moment, knowing why it is unfinished and that it is OK to leave until the time is right to come back to it again.
It occurred to me today, that the value I found in the space between things was really about not carrying stress, anxiety or disappointment forward from one thing to another. It wasn't the specific action or even the amount of time that mattered, but rather arriving at a feeling of resolution, of not carrying any baggage into the next moment. This is important, because I now know how to tell if the space is enough. Sometimes it will be quick and easy to find, other times it may be quite difficult. But it is worth staying in the space-creating process until the weight lifts, the fog clears, the baggage is left behind.
So obvious to me now how useless, indeed harmful, is my pattern of creating baggage out of nothing to carry forward into my interactions. Why not take each situation with an open heart, free from imagined stories, and resolve any real conflicts that arise so that the next moment can be enjoyed with clarity and freedom?
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