Today had a nice flow. It was a day with no obligations, but lots of options. The options I chose included morning meditation, a no-stress review of the tax entries, grocery shopping, bicycle shopping, trumpet playing, bike riding, yoga planning, and pistachio shelling.
I was thinking that if I have one thing to do, I feel fine. If there's a long queue of things piled up behind the one I'm trying to do right now, I feel stressed and anxious. A few days ago, working on the taxes felt like that. There were many things to do, I wasn't sure how long some of them would take, and at some points the project seemed impossible. Feeling out of control of the outcome and not being able to predict the time it will take brings more anxiety.
Of course, there are always many things to do. Putting them on a list helps by taking them out of my mind temporarily. The list provides a little separation, some space between me and the task. It's written down, it won't be forgotten, so I don't have to keep circulating it around in my head. When it is time, each item comes off the list and gets worked on. Today worked like that.
The light outside is slowly fading, and I can feel myself fading with it. I hear a dove's cooing call, and remember listening to it this morning as I was sitting in silence.
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