How Deep?

My perception shifts -
Sometimes I feel very separate from the world
 - an independent being living in an environment
 - an actor on a set, interacting, but in a discretionary way.

Other times I feel like I'm an organ of a larger organism
 - connected, related, fully dependent
 - giving and receiving in equal measure
 - being affected and having an effect

The second perception is growing stronger
 - I'm an ephemeral organization of energy from a universal pool

Like an area in the atmosphere where moisture coalesces enough to absorb and reflect light
 - and appear distinct, as a cloud.

I'm also energy, occupying space, identifiable as a form, but always changing.  Always needing to gather and refresh myself from the pool, to counteract the inevitable, constant dissipation.

I can't be separated from the world around.  Through my senses I'm in constant relationship with it.  Some small part of this I'm consciously aware of - most I am not.

I've been contemplating how the signals I get from the world affect how I feel.
 - Why a sky full of cloud puffs floating past makes me feel happy?
 - Why a roiling dark sky and cold wind makes me apprehensive?

Is it because I'm remembering something
 - a pleasant childhood day in the sun, or
 - the chill of being caught out in a storm?

Or do I have a deeper relationship with the environment
 - parts of my mind, my emotions, that are expressing evolved responses
    of the millions (or how many could it be?)
    of mutations and tests of survival and reproductions
 - that have created the genetic program to assemble me from the
   energy and matter - simply more particular forms of energy -
   of the world?

I think it does run very deep - it isn't just what I have experienced -
 - really, how could it not be?