Visualization

I wanted to jump off the tower, but high places can freak me out.  I didn't want to climb up and then become afraid and not be able to jump.  To prepare myself for the jump, I used visualization.  I looked out at the tower from the balcony of our room and imagined myself walking calmly along the path over to the ladder, then up the 11 rungs to the deck, then across the deck and, with no hesitation, stepping out into the air above the ocean.  Imagining what it would feel like, seeing myself falling down, then disappearing with a splash before popping back up to swim to shore.

I couldn't imagine the full experience, but I could visualize all the actions I needed to take for the jump, and, to be calm and without fear, I needed simply to stay focused on those actions, one step at a time.

On Thursday, the wind was calm, and the water perfect.  I went down and dove in to get the feel of the water.  I looked up at the tower - "yes, it looks pretty high up.  OK, here we go."

I climbed out of the water and started walking steadily up the stairs and onto the path, then up the ladder and across the deck, and stepped off the edge, bringing legs together and arms by my side. Whoosh!

I was surprised at how utterly calm I was - no anxious "pit of the stomach" feeling - and how great it felt to experience the jump just as I had visualized it.